A Sunday afternoon on the barracks’ catwalk. Day four of the war. Nothing much else to do but bullsht and watch TV. There are an estimated 50 Marine casualties at this point. Mom said she watched a firefight on TV this morning. Some U.S. forces are less than 100 miles from Baghdad. Other than that don’t know what else to say…just waiting. A lot of us think that we’ll end up going no where, just end up staying stateside. I don’t believe that, I just hope we don’t go somewhere for some bullt mission. If we do something good I know I’ll feel as though I’ve accomplished something worthwhile in my 23 years.
Things just get more surreal by the hour. First, we watched more footage of the front lines where Marines were fighting. These guys are just like us, it’s so obvious but I just can’t get my head around it. At one point the reporter mentioned he was with the 2nd Battalion 8th Marines–and we’re staying in their barracks right now. It’s getting more frustrating to see Marines dying and not being able to help them. Sgt. D- speculates that our leave date for Iraq might come sooner. He also says when we get there we’ll probably wish for these long nights back in the U.S. Funny, because he’s never talked like that before.
March 24, 2003
Not much to say except that today I realized I could actually die. I mean I see vivid pictures of such things, and I see how easily this can happen in war. It may seem like an obvious statement. I thought about these kinds of things the moment I enlisted. But never in those early, innocent, “good ol’ days” when I rushed through weekend training to get back to school and finish my homework, did I ever think I’d be in a war. Then, once this became apparent, it has taken until now to really understand what war actually means…I mean, really means. It doesn’t seem like me, David Botti, could be shot to death on a road in Iraq…but, it can so easily happen. So easy to become a name on the wall, and a cross in Arlington Nation Cemetery where thousands like me may have thought the same things. But I shouldn’t think about such morbid things. The war is getting bloodier…especially for the Marines. Today I saw an Army convoy come under attack on TV.
March 25, 2003
Things have changed infinitely in a matter of a few hours. We learned today that we would be leaving for Kuwait by the weekend. Things kicked into high gear. The mood seems somber, uncertain, worried. Things are so real and so clear that it seems everyday the fog lifts revealing how things will really be. I could see it in the major’s face as he told us we were going. Here are people’s thoughts: H- is having trouble sleeping; B- is worried that he’ll kill someone and go to hell; S- wishes he picked up a slutty girl last weekend; A- doesn’t feel like talking to his parents (he also thinks he only has a 20 percent chance of coming home not wounded or dead); C- wants to go but is scared at the same time; N- is nervous. All I can really do is concentrate on the future, and put all this into perspective when I come back home.
